Gym

I went back to the gym today after a couple of weeks not getting there, I decided to try the sat am pilates class as I was up early for once lol it went well, got talking to an elderly lady and told her I was recovering from ME and explained how I find the gym helps me, though I struggle with the classes other than pilates. I decided to try pilates on the ball, I actually managed to stay on the ball today, but made sure I stayed at level 1 as though I could have probably done level 2 I thought it was pushing it a bit and I want to feel boosted by the session not worn out.

Update

I just blogged a whole page and it's disappeared arrgggh!!!
Not typing it all again now!!
Am doing well by the way I finished Rt after 7 sessions I felt it was time to call it a day as I could not get any further or learn any more and I wanted to get down to putting it all into practise and just living now I have a life again. I don't regret doing it for one minute as I have changed so much I have a much more positive outlook on life and see where I was going wrong in the past, I am able to plan things more now without worrying will I be okay on the day as I figure even if I am not ok then it will do me good anyway as not doing stuff just makes me worse anyway and more depressed as I feel my illness is stopping me living. I have seen that exercise and ME do mix and that is actually makes me feel good if not too strenuous, I went to the local gym and signed up for a few sessions, I have only managed 3 so far, I tried the circuit training which was really too much, but got thrown in at the deep end as me and a friend went for an induction and tried out the machines next thing we were in a class of ladies who had been going for months, so you can imagine how hard that was and the instructor did not know we had literally just joined the gym so she was pushing us on and I kept saying I can't! I ached for a few days afterwards which of course is perfectly understandable, I tried the hoops, bands and a balls class which was hysterical, I could not keep the hoop up you had to do it for 15 minutes and move around the room too imagine! And the ball well I could not stay on it so nearly ended up on my head, I could not stop laughing! I will have to find a class which is more suitable like Pilates but so far not much success as they are not at convenient times, but I am sure something will work out. I have also seen the importance of speaking up if I need to, I stand up for myself more these days and don't allow myself to churn inside as it's just a matter of dealing with things as they come up rather than holding onto hurt, stress etc which only brings on symptoms. So I am a much better person and cope better. Bring it on!!!

Update

Well been a month or so since I blogged things going okay been doing pilates weekly, it's with a physio and only about 6-8 in the class so much more suited for me, hubby has gone with me too.
Last week it was hurting my thighs and calves so I could not do it all, one guy who has knee replacement said he did not know who was in more pain me or him! But next day I was fine no aching and I noticed it was only really the first session that I had quite a bit of aching afterwards, rest I've not had so shows it's getting easier. The course goes from beginners to advanced in 6 weeks, we have just 2 more to go. I am trying to do it at home too I can recommend dvd by Lynne Robinson she is really good. I even manage to use a stepper too which we have at home.
I want to keep it up after the course I might not continue there as it's not that near and prefer to go during the day than evenings. I think I might cope with another class better now I've had more experience. Sometimes I can hardly believe I am managing it when I think how little I did before, it just shows you what you can achieve if you don't let head mind worry block you.
I am also getting out more, shopping, socialising etc and it feels good. I still get awful hormonal problems but my food intolerances seems to have improved a bit, so I can eat bread a couple of times a week without too much of a reaction. Plus I have enjoyed a chocolate muffin or two which was really yummy! Still I don't want to get into eating junk though it's nice to be able to eat more stuff now and makes life easier for eating out etc. I have had some good news about a friend who has very severe ME and has been housebound for about a year and has started RT with the same therapist at me and she is getting out of the house so that has really boosted me to hear that it can help even someone in that situation. Even friends who have not seen a therapist who I have been talking to have been putting some things into practise and seen improvements. I am still having therapy not sure how much longer I will need it but trying not to stress over how many sessions I have had or how much it's costing I know I have to keep on with it as I've come so far and I've a lot further I want to go, my next session is on April 23rd.

Not well but things looking up ......

Right time for a bit of an update. I had my fifth RT session on 12th of Feb, as I had been ill for the previous few weeks I had not progressed very much so Lyn gave me the motivation I needed to get cracking again. As she said there is no point me going back in 5 weeks and not having moved on much at all, so she suggested I contact her in a couple of weeks to tell her how things are going. I have not been well at all lately, one thing after another I've had a strange rash on my face and neck and my face was burning up rang NHS direct and they said it sounded like slapped cheek disease of all things!! No idea how I got that, my skin is healing now thankfully so am not quite as embarassed in public. I went to pilates class other week, it was only my old school friend who was the instructor who I have not seen in years, I went on my own so it was good as it put me at ease there was someone I knew. I found it hard keeping up with the old ladies, one lady when doing the hamstring stretch told me to straighten my leg, which I did with a bit of agony bad idea as for a few days after I had terrible hip and leg pain so now i know to avoid that part or at least not push it. I decided it was best to look out for a beginners class and I've signed up for a 6 weeks course with a lady who is a physiotherapist and runs small groups of up to 12 ladies and I start next Wednesday evening. It's fairly local so I might be able to drive myself there, just not sure of the directions as yet. So perhaps first time I'll go with hubby and he'll wait around at nearby pub perhaps. At least everyone will be at my level not like other class where most had been going for months. Though I have done it at home using my dvd it's not the same is it? So am looking forward to that as I know when I do it it does help boost my energy.

Aerobics, what with ME???!

I have been a bit of a misery guts so rather than inflict that on you I kept it to myself for past few weeks. (I only wish my DH would have done so!) I've had a bad virus and had no energy for much at all so all my good intentions went out of the window and I became very headmindy I saw the proof that when you aren't having fun doing things etc the worry sets in again, but gave me the incentive to get back to the rt again and start doing stuff. I've been looking into if there is a pilates class locally can't find out so I decided to get cracking myself at home, I got a dvd designed for pregnant women, figured this would be gentle approach for me, it is pretty intensive all the same, I am on the first trimester exercises, I am planning to do them several times per week, they do make my muscles ache, am using muscles I had forgotten I had. I felt drained before I did them and feel better now. It gives me such a boost. I just need to stop procrastinating and get on with things. I am done with procrastinating, it only makes me frustrated and bad about myself. Last night me and DH went for a walk in the thick snow, it brought back memories of childhood, we aimed snow at each other like big kids it was fun though

Craft Aft

Well Friday was when I'd arranged the craft aft at local fire station as I mentioned in previous post. I was not in the mood but I had up to 20 people I'd invited so could not let them down and knew it would take my mind off how dreadful I felt. Plus I had been looking forward to it too for a month. I was so glad I did not cancel there was about 13 people came, ranging in age from 5 months old to 70! Some brought knitting others sewing, I took card stash so I could demo some card things and a couple wanted to do that so I showed them how to do a card and they did one they were happy they had done it and said it was nothing like as complicated as they had thought it would be, despite them doing an advanced technique that I only just tried first time other day! It was 1-4pm I was glad to get home as was ready for a rest by then. I have booked it monthly for the year so something nice to look forward to:)
I've had a hacking cough this weekend which has prevented me from sleeping so feeling rough but looking forward to getting into my exercise routine and thinking of going to local gym, can't remember how many years since I ever stepped in a gym, a friend told me she has just joined and so I thought why not go along, I probably won't be joining though at £20/month

Staying in Bodymind

This is the hardest part for me to master as it takes real effort to motivate yourself to do it and it's a constand battle against head-mind but when I do it it does help so much and I know it's the key to recovery. If you download the free info from the RT site I highly recommend it as if at present you don't feel ready to go for the therapy or perhaps you are unable to afford it then at least you can be trying it out for free!
I personally feel that it is essential to see a therapist you get the support and encouragement to put it into practise and also in the beginning to know what your specific messages are that are unique to you I would never have worked it this out for myself. Think of how much money you have spent so far on therapies that only seem to scratch the surface and think you potentially only need 4-6 sessions at £80 per time to recover, no other therapy has that potential that I know of anyway so I think it is money well worth spending. Previous therapies I've tried such as Osteopathy take months and months and then it seems unless you keep going you tend to go downhill again. RT gives you the tools to get well and it's just about using them, it is empowering that you can have such control over your illness without just popping a vitamin pill or having a massage. That in itself gives you the motivation to continue. Though I do feel you need to be ready for it as it requires change and challenging long-held false beliefs of the way to get well or manage your illness.

Got a cold

I woke up Monday with my shoulders aching and sore throat, I knew it was only a matter of time as hubby has had it for a week now and parents have it too. Anyway I decided not to get really stressed and head-mindy about it, how bad I feel etc etc as I know that only increases the feeling. So I dosed my self up with garlic, lemon, ginger and honey tea and echineacea and goldenseal tincture. I ran out of Olive leaf extract I take that all the time and it seems to help ward off things. Anyway I also got my acupressure book I can highly recommend it - Acupressure How to Cure Common Ailments the Natural Way by Michael Reed Gach - get your copy now it's a fantastic book and there seems to be something to help everything in there and it does work too! I did some points when I was up in the night and when I woke up this morning I felt improved.
I actually have the 1990 copy but see there is an updated one now. I also use it for PMT and periods I plan to do it daily then 3 times a day the week before it does seem to take the edge of the hormones and the pain. I also do it during to help my menstrual pain rather than taking pain killers which I hate to take unless absolutely necessary.
I hope I am okay by Friday as I have organised a craft group for up to 20 people at local fire station I would hate to let everyone down

Just to say

I am not going to blog much as Lyn says I need to concentrate on getting myself well before trying to help others but I will blog from time to time to give you updates, assuming someone is reading this!!! I still need to get to grips with expressing my emotions, it's hard to know what to say so sometimes I don't say things as I feel it is easier to not do so I need to work out how to say things in the right way. This is central to the therapy so if I can't do it then it won't work as it should. The other aspects are really all side issues to it, though they are vital too they are not as vital as the expressing emotions. I also need to keep finding new fun things to do in my day and work towards my goal of either going back to work or finding a way of making a bit of money at home, I want to try and design some things for crafters as this is my passion so I know I would enjoy doing it. It would also be easy money without draining me of too much energy then I can concentrate on what I love most.

My 4th Session

What a day I had on Thursday! I’ve had quite an adventure, I left home at 9.30 and got home at 4ish, I rang mum and dad on way as dad was worried sick about me I felt like a teenager again ringing my parents to say I got there okay lol
At the first station this friendly man told me what to do at station as I had booked online so had to get ticket at station, I got a bit lost finding machine so went in office and the man there issued my tickets, got on train just in time to York, I walked to place where I see Lyn which was about 10 mins or would have been if I had not gone wrong a bit on way, so I did a bit of extra walking never mind should be easier next time.
I checked to make sure I was on the right train, I felt silly but if I had got on wrong one I would have felt sillier.
Lyn was really pleased with me, after we went to deli down road and I got a takeaway (healthy) meal and sat on bench eating it and then went into art gallery café to warm up with a cuppa and then had a bit of a look round there, a bit boring though, decided had enough and back to station.

Web Blog

I am finding the blog http://reversethinking.typepad.com/weblog
interesting look up the article on worry
It is so true I waste so much time and energy worrying, I am a real pessimist at times I am going to follow the tips on dealing with worry. I would love to not be a worrier anymore, wow that would be so good!
These sections are good too and food for thought!
http://reversethinking.typepad.com/weblog/me
http://reversethinking.typepad.com/weblog/chronic-fatigue-syndrome

Trip to London

Just back from trip to London to see family, I did not really want to go but I decided it would be good to have a break, if stay at home won't be doing much anyway but at least there I would be forced to do things. (When I say forced I don't mean literally made to but encouraged might be a better word) We only decided on the day (wed) if we were going as dad is sick and so he decided he was not going day before so we were thinking to stay home too but mum wanted to go so thought it was best we went too. On Thursday we went out around 1.30pm we parked the car at the Strand and walked all the way to Leicester Square, my legs did not ache either, we stopped to watch new year's parade on the way and then went for a meal in Italian and then to cinema to see Yes Man. We got home around 9pm so a long time but really fun so I was not drained!
I had a couple of late nights after 11ish which is not good for me at all but no pressure to get up early so it did not matter. I had a bad reaction to my brother's after shave in the car, I felt really sick, perhaps a mixture of car sickness and the smell so I had to have window open, was fine later once I got some fresh air!
It was a nice trip and I coped well despite having PMT. I did not get ratty with anyone, well no more than usual anyway. They might disagree though. Back home I've had some ME time as need to recharge my batteries. I will get back into things on Monday. On thursday I am going to get the train to York for my RT appointment, my therapist wanted me to try and get there on my own, normally hubby takes me and he has to come out of work so not ideal. Plus he has to wait a good hour or so for my session too, not that he minds but seems a bit silly when I could go alone.
I won't be driving there not yet anyway as the car is not up to much atm and not got the confidence yet.