Tuesday, 23 February 2010

After a While Poem

This poem is in a book I am currently reading I found it very relevant to my current situation
A beautiful poem by Veronica Shoffstall written in 1971, at a time when so much was changing for women, but its words are as relevant today. This writer feels strong, self assured and contented.

After a while you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t always mean security
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a women, not the grief of a child
And you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring your flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn and you learn
With every goodbye you learn……

Sunday, 7 February 2010

Time to move on.....

I am fed up of allowing my ME to control me I have got back into that awful trap again, with the SAD and also the weather I have been stuck in most of the time and that only makes me dwell on negativity.
The hormones don't help either!  I have a lot of anger and resentment about the past and I am trying to blame others for why I am ill when in reality it is my view of it all that is making me ill.  I can either carry on in this thought pattern and stay ill or can get me out of it and get well.  That is the harsh reality. 
When I think more positive I can actually feel my body heaving a huge sigh of relief almost as if it saying at last you get me!!!  How empowering that is, and my body says give me more give me more.
I must give it more by doing more, getting out more even if that might be on my own which I hate but at least I am not stuck inside rotting away!  Keep you posted.......