Monday, 8 December 2008

Stressed out!

I've lapsed with my treatment, I hope to get back into it now as I've noticed a difference since I've not done it. Yesterday I decided to go for a walk, had a little jog too and felt better afterwards. It just shows that exercise does make you feel better even if you feel exhausted prior to it. It is hard to get out of the thinking that it can make you worse. I am going to do accupressure exercises regularly now as it really helps and I need to find ways of exercising other than outdoors with it been cold I find it hard to get myself out. I have been really stressed about dad he has to have further tests for his throat and he has a pre-cancerous condition (Barratt's oesophagus) I looked up about it and it did not help really as I am the type of person who thinks of the worst (take after dad!) so hopefully it can be treated, though I doubt it will stop dad smoking or drinking. He stopped smoking for about 6 months when he was going through radiotherapy but then when he got the all-clear he started again, on cigars though he thinks they aren't actually smoking! I will have to accept the fact he has made a choice in life though I do not like it of course it might help me stop stressing so much. Back to the body-mind techniques ......

Wednesday, 3 December 2008

Feeling Dreadful

One word Dreadful describes how I feel just now, I am supposed to be doing more but the weather is dreadful too (ice and snow) so I just want to stay home, besides I don't like driving at best of times nevermind now. I also have this awful PMT and it's dragging on this time so now I am going through the whirlwind of emotions of could I be pregnant as generally I am not late.
I should do my body mind technique and some pilates today as I have got out of it a bit since I last went for RT. It's hard with the SAD to motivate myself. I made some plans though for the craft group I went into local fire station to look at a room there and was able to book it for January so just to ask people now I already have asked quite a few to see if enough interest and I think I could easily get 20 people, that is how many the room seats and it is enough anyway. I hope it does not get round the cong then everyone wants to come, at least I have an excuse with the size of the room, the great thing it is free and so takes any pressure off regarding will people turn up or not, other places were £40 which was not bad but they were in old people's homes and they seemed a bit concerned about the furniture. So am really happy now and looking forward to January.

Monday, 1 December 2008

making plans

Today I have been making plans to set up a craft group for Sisters and ringing round places to hire, I am finding many are interested in such a thing it's just a matter of finding somewhere.
It is part of my therapy to make plans towards my goals, and this would be such a therapeutic thing, mix of social with craft. Hope it will come off.
I have been hyper today (hormones!) so not been resting much, nor done my pilates or techniques and I've felt the difference, tomorrow is another day you can't do it right all the time and getting over my perfectionism is part of the process!

Saturday, 29 November 2008

techniques work

I had occasion today to use my body technique this time to speak up and it helped to diffuse a situation which might otherwise have gotten out of hand, so I know it can work.
I went shopping again for clothes, it's getting costly this feeling better!
I feel drained but am still avoiding napping during the day
Right back to x-factor.

Friday, 28 November 2008

Second Session

November 27th 2008

My second session went well, Lyn was really impressed with my progress in just a fortnight, I am getting more fun in my daily life and that is really the best way to reduce symptoms.
I went to an art class, started doing pilates at home, had a card party for friends, went for a few meals out and feel I am starting to at last get a life. You have to record situations that come up and how you use the messages you are given on your session (they are unique to you and only you know them you cannot tell anyone what they are) I told Lyn I was finding I was just doing things without reading my messages I thought I was doing things wrong but she said good! That shows I am getting the process and I am connecting with body-mind and also turning down head-mind. Now if I am worried and my mind is going round and round I stop and do my body mind technique just did it now and the difference it makes is amazing, I was feeling really drained ready for a nap but instead I did my body mind technique and now I am ready to go out to the shops. I had the same experience other week with exhaustion, I did some pilates and I felt energized and did not need to nap, I never thought I would get out of my daily naps but seems it might be possible. I am bit worn out though from yesterday the sessions do take it out of you, we left home at 2pm and got back at 6.30 so quite a long time really plus the emotions come out in the session and so that can be wearing too. I will go again in a fortnight and then it might get longer between sessions, like a month and then 6 weeks depending on how things go.

Sunday, 23 November 2008

Things are changing

I am setting things in motion as I am tuning into my bodymind I am acting on it at long last, now I have the tools to move forward for the first time ever. I have made plans to start painting going to an art class with a friend tomorrow, feel a bit anxious as it's like going into the wide world again after so long of not doing stuff out of fear of getting worse. My headmind is saying it will be too tiring, how will I cope with the smell of the paints and perfume (due to MCS) and maybe I should just try it at home. But then bodymind is saying no go for it, how hard can it be, if you don't like it there is no need to go again but until you try you may never know. Sometimes the fear is worse than the reality. I tend to build things up into huge unreachable things but when I reason things out they seem much less daunting. I was unable to do that prior to starting RT. So that is one positive. Plus I had some friends round other afternoon to make cards, we did not make any cards but had a great laugh and chat and it was 8pm before I got home after dropping a friend home. I have been getting up at 7am every day, unlike before 8.30-9am so that is a change, don't feel as if I am sleeping better but maybe I am. I am unable to not have my usual afternoon nap yet but think that might come later. I also started doing Pilates exercises other day using a dvd and plan to do it every morning.

so far so good

November 17th 2008
So far it's going okay, I did more over weekend, I was even ready for going out at 11am which is unlike me normally it's 2pm and by that time Mark has done shopping (he goes at 7am!) and been for a long walk had a nap etc by the time I'm anywhere near going anywhere. I dragged him to the shops and it turned out there was a guy from X-factor coming for a signing there (Austin Drage) there was a massive queue of fans and I joined the crowd not to get an autograph but just to see be a part of the excitement, felt like a teenager again! I overdid though, not I was there too long but I did too much of the same thing so I did feel drained. I should have listened to my body which was giving me symptoms to tell me I needed to change what I was doing. Oh well I am not going to beat myself up over it but see it as a learning curve. Only this time I am going to learn from it rather than let it happen over and over again like in the past. I have used my techniques from the session to help me deal with stressful situations over the weekend, there are usual some aren't they? It did not involve me speaking out but it helped me calm down so it saved a reaction which could have led to more stress and more symptoms for much longer. So that is positive, it's good to ahve a way of dealing with situations which does actually deal with them and not bury them to just resurface again and again. I learned a profound thing from a CD I borrowed on my first session which I wrote down to remind me and recorded it on my mobile to remind me too so when I am out I can listen to it depending where I am of course WE DON'T GET SYMPTOMS BECAUSE WE HAVE DONE TOO MUCH, WE ONLY GET SYMPTOMS IF WE HAVE DONE TOO MUCH OF ONE THING wow simple yet so profound. That would explain why been on the computer a logn time (which is one of my pitfalls) makes me really drained but when I have changed that by doing it in shorter spells like in last few days I have not felt drained. I think I will have my nap now though I don't think I am well enough not to nap yet I still get that slump after lunch and get really ratty if I don't have a nap so here I go bye for now.

My First Session of Reverse Therapy

November 14th 2008
My first session went well, Lyn is really nice and friendly and put me at ease which of course is vital for this type of therapy, I went in feeling stressed out as we were in a rush and I thought I would be late plus the worry of going as well. During the session I started to calm down. We went back to before I got ill and what was going on in my life then and how I could have dealt with the events at the time better by listening to body mind and not head mind. It took me some time to work it out as it is a new way of thinking for me, or should I say tuning into my body. I realised if I had spoke up in a constructive way at the time then I could have avoided all the stress that has gone for years, every time I think about those situations or any situation that I go through now which takes me back to those events. So it's about moving on and learning to listen to body mind, it's about finding joy, fun and fulfillment in DAILY life, so if I feel bored, sad, lonely I need to attune to my body and take action and then my symptoms should start to decrease. This could mean I no longer am ill and that I am able to live again. Been the type of person I am I want to get it all now but I must be patient as it may take time. At least now I have the tools to move forward which is a huge relief. I go again in a fortnight so I have a lot to work on and practise meanwhile. I feel so calm today and dare I say I even slept better, not sure but seemed to.
I have a CD to listen to twice a day with the key principles of the therapy to get them in my head (or body!)

Reverse Therapy could this be the one?!

Tuesday 21st October

I came to a point with the manipulative therapy that I was only getting so far, though I had improved and was able to do more than before, my back is much better, I can't remember last time I got back ache now which is great but I am still not well so decided it was best I leave it as I have given it 9 months and it's not cheap like any of these treatments. My therapist also said there was only so much he could do and that I had to deal with emotional issues to help me learn to relax more. After a long time debating and hearing from people it has helped I decided to take the plunge to try Reverse therapy, I got the book by ME,. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome & Fibromyalgia The Reverse Therapy Approach by John Eaton though I've not read much of it due to brain fog I rekindled my interest in it after been reminded by someone it was worth a try and reading an article in local ME group's newsletter. The more I learn the more I feel this is the thing for me and it makes such a lot of sense.
I know my emotional side needs dealing with as no matter what treatment I try though it helps it does not get the root of things and so I end up stuck and not getting well which is highly frustrating. There is so much I want to do with my life and I ain't got much of one at present, but I have a good feeling aobut this, been there before i know but this time I know it's for real ..... sorry got carried away there lol .... anyway my appointment is with Lyn White in York on November 13th will keep you posted. I know it takes a lot of hard work and commitment so it's not a quick fix or it could be all depends how it goes.
If you want to learn more about reverse therapy see this site and download a free book here


Here is my blog about Reverse Therapy, I hope it helps those of you who are perhaps skeptical of this treatment and are wondering whether to try it, believe me it took me a long time to decide to go ahead it was only due to hearing of others who got well than inspired me to try it in the end. Plus it made so much sense it was hard to resist.
Thanks for reading my blog and please leave any comments or questions you have.